Science of Gay Sex

I’m an ex band geek so I’ll spare you the band jokes and jump right into one of the hottest Broadway musicals, Wicked, based on the favorite tale, Wizard of Oz.

Did you know the Wicked Witch of the West wasn’t always evil? Elphaba (the birth name of the previously mentioned witch) had every intention of using her magic powers to make the world a better place- finding love for her sister (correctly guessed as the Wicked Witch of the East) and saving her love crush from a tragic end. The result of her screw up was the Tin Man and the Scarecrow. Later frustrated that her attempts at creating her own fantasy miserably failed, Elphaba vowed a life of evil. Of course, there is way more to the story, but the moral here is that you can save yourself a lot of grief by letting the natural course of things unfold. By trying to save your crush from a devastating straight fate you may end up losing your own self-esteem.

Many gay men try to use their powers of queer persuasion to create the ideal love fantasy. They become preoccupied with the quest of turning the seemingly impossible into the utterly tragic.

We all wish we could wave a wand and turn our crush into lust, but even if it were possible, would you want it that way? Let’s shift the focus from the impossible (which is turning him gay) to the practical (finding out if he is gay through friendship).

There are no definite signs that disclose a person’s sexuality. So, the best plan of attack here is to gain his trust as a friend. You say he looks in your direction, then strike up a conversation. Talk about that cool new Astroturf on the football field or how ridiculous piccolos look marching with those tiny instruments. Any excuse to start a friendship. Once you get to know him, you’ll soon discover whether you desire a deeper friendship or not. You don’t have to come out to him right away, but you should eventually disclose your intentions.

Of course, you love him so and want him now, but have a little patience. If he shares your feelings, he’ll return the sentiment. If he’s gay, you’ll eventually know when he’s ready for you to know. Until then keep your wand in your pants and stay in line.

If either you or your boyfriend is receiving the one giving can reach in front if you are in doggy style or standing up and jerk off your boyfriend just at the moment you are having your orgasm.  When the one receiving has an orgasm his anus will start to contract with each spurt of cum.  This happens with each spurt of cum and then the anus relaxes and then it contracts again when he spurts more cum.  The one giving can feel his partners anus contract on his penis and it adds to his orgasm.  You can prove this to yourself by masturbating with a finger or didldo in your own anus and you will feel your anus contract and relax several times as you orgasm.  I do not know of a gay g spot.  On oral sex most people think the head of the penis is the most sensitive spot but the skin on the underside of the penis and especially underneath the head is the thinnest skin on the body and therefore the most sensitive.  You can spend a lot of time just licking the underside and under the head and up and down the shaft before taking the whole penis in your mouth.  You can also spend time using the tip of your tongue licking the area underneath the testicles and in front of the anus as this is a very sensitive spot also.  As far as you receiving you can always grasp his testicles and fondle them or insert your finger in his anus while he is behind you if you are on all fours.Here is a position that males do with females but you may not be able to.  Your boyfriend or you lie on your left side with your legs up to your chest but not all the way.  Your boyfriend kneels behind you as if you were on all fours except you are really lying on your left side.  He then places his right leg undeneath your left leg and then he lifts your buttocks with his left hand and inserts in your anus sideways.  In this position he is free to thrust as deep and as fast as he likes.  he can also lean forward to kiss you and he can rub or stroke your penis and testicles as well as rub your back.  He also gets to see every part of you.  Males are in general sight oriented while females are touch oriented.  So the visual sights are sure to please him or you. Of course try the new KY warming jelly when having anal. Hope this gives you some ideas.

First, what is a top? A top is the person doing the penetrating during anal sex. Despite what some perceive, the top isn’t always the most dominant partner in the relationship. Giving or receiving anal is a personal pleasure preference.

How To Top

So, how do you top? There a certain level of finesse and a number of techniques beyond just sticking your penis into his anus that make one a good top. Topping takes strategy, a way to execute that plan, and a lot of patience. The strategy I’m referring to is the bottom’s pleasure. A good top knows that focusing on their partner’s desires can reap pleasurable rewards for both people.

Sounds like a lot of work? Well, it’s not as difficult as it sounds or even necessary, but if you want your bottom to come back for more (again and again), lean into these techniques:

Good Topping

Good topping is more than just jumping on the first available opening. Keep your bottom wanting more by developing your style, or the way you prepare your bottom for anal. Your bottom should have already made preparations for cleanliness, but topping takes prep as well—prepping your bottom.

Most anuses aren’t designed for entry and aren’t relaxed and expanded in its natural state, so penetration can be quite painful for your bottom (and less enjoyable for you) if his sphincter muscles aren’t relaxed. It’s easier for him to relax his sphincter muscles if he is relaxed.

Relax Your Bottom Partner

To relax your bottom, start with foreplay and a mixture of firm and light touch and kisses. Read his body language and focus your attention on areas that help his entire body loosen. Listen to his breathing and verbal cues. Let him and his body guide you to the right areas.

Stay above the belt for some time with kisses and caresses, which can be difficult, especially when you’re ready to go for the prize (remember the patience we talked about?). Next, undress him slowly and let him undress you as well. Relax your body on his and let him feel your heaviness. Press against his torso. Start rubbing around his waste and eventually below. Kiss, touch, and let him feel your readiness.

If he’s into it, let him give you oral. Meanwhile, explore his waist, butt, and anus. Try rimming, massaging his perimneum or lightly penetrating him with a lubricated finger or toy.

Let Him Guide You, Then Take Control

Increase his eagerness but focusing on his relaxation. Let him guide you when he is ready, then take control. Remember that the anal cavity isn’t an endless cavern. Start slow and ease penetration. Be patient and develop your rhythm before increasing your depth and speed. Again, listen to his body language and verbal cues. Does he tense up or relax certain speed and certain depths?

Hopefully, you’ll both sync into a rhythm. Once this happens, maintain that pace and slowly increase depth and speed.

Are you ready for sex? Chances are if you’re reading this your body is ready to seal the deal. But are you ready emotionally? Have you prepared to top, bottom, or looked into other ways to be intimate like frottage, rimming, or oral?

And these days you can’t be too safe or sure a guy is “clean” by the way he looks or from what he says. Given that, have you thought ways to be safe?

Sex may seem simple: give, receive, relieve. But, sex can be far more complication, especially if you’re not prepared.

Let’s start with emotions
Some guys can be physical without experiencing emotional connections. Others, however, prefer some level of emotional bonding before being intimate. Have you thought about where you lay on the spectrum? More on sex and emotions.

Now, on to preparing to top or bottom
It’s obvious how to top or bottom: One person penetrates and the other receives. But, how do you know if you’re a top or bottom? And even them, are you a good top or bottom? And, are you prepared to do either?

Do you know how to be safe?
Once you’ve chosen to have sex, there are a number of ways to reduce the risk of contracting an STD. About.com STD Guide Elizabeth Boskey, Ph.D. says, “First, you need to know yourself. Second, you need to know your partner. And third? You need to know about condoms and safer sex.” Track these safer sex tips and ways to avoid getting an STD.

Not into anal?
Despite the common myth, not all gay men like anal sex. There are many ways men can be intimate with one another without having anal sex. Two very common ways are intercrural sex and frottage. Both of these types of non-penetrative sex can be used as foreplay or for complete intimacy.

Oral sex
Pace yourself and relax to perform good oral sex.